Awh man I really do feel the pressure of words sometimes. And you know what else ? Proof. Proving things. And the paradox of life.

On the one hand I am an investigator.

On the other hand I have nothing to prove.

On the one hand I am an inquirer.

On the other hand I am meant to let things come to me.

On the one hand I am seeking truth.

On the other hand I am truth.

On the one hand I am feeling shadows.

On the other hand I am my gifts.
And on the one hand … I am okay with all of this.
But on the other hand … I am not.
On the one hand I can ease into the idea of the timing of my life being out of my control.
On the other hand I feel like I need to get out there and go after what I want.
This, however, is conditioning.

So how much do I need to do to commit to it all?
Truth, living in my experimental ways, thriving on the material plane, guiding those who seek me and recognize me for who I am.
On the one hand I feel like I need to commit 100 percent or I am never going to get it.

On the other hand I know that there are numbers 0-99 before I get to 100.

On the one hand I am okay with playing the numbers game.

On the other hand I want to go from 0-100 and get there already.

On the one hand I feel that there’s somewhere to get to.
On the other hand I feel that I am already there.
On the one hand I want to accomplish and achieve my purpose before I die.
On the other hand I feel that maybe I cannot control this.

I can only allow it to happen.
On the one hand I worry that it is not a guarantee.
On the other hand I know that my life is my art.

On the one hand I fear losing people.

On the other hand I feel that death is okay.
I feel that death is a part of life.

I want to help others feel this and know this.

On the one hand I feel called.

On the other hand I know I have to face my fears of death to do it.

On the one hand I feel there is nothing to do.

On the other hand I feel there is so much to do.

Yes.
And what I feel, what I know, what I fear, what I can control… are they really on opposite hands?
Hmm. Truth.